Plans for the Future

God tells us not to make them. He tells us that He knows the plans He's made for us. He tells us not to worry about tomorrow, let alone the days after tomorrow. He tells us that He will provide for us even more than He provides for the lilies of the field and the birds singing in the trees outside.

And yet, we are human, and so much of our time is spent making plans. Thinking about the future. Worrying about what will happen tomorrow and in the days after tomorrow. Ensuring that my obligations are met (paying bills, etc) isn't anti-God, at least I don't think it is. God wants my testimony to be one of integrity. So of course, I should plan ahead enough to use what God has given me wisely.

The planning He doesn't want us to do is the kind that causes us anxiety, angst, and even anger. The kind that is always paired with worry. The kind of planning that we allow to lock us up, and then locked into that schedule of plans, we stop listening for the breath of Life in our lives, and we stop responding to the calling of His Spirit.

So, I've been thinking a lot about the future. Trying to make plans, to make decisions, to "know God's will" for me.

We came two years ago to Peru, committed to two years. Last year, it looked like maybe we wouldn't be able to return. God answered us in a mighty way: He provided $14,000 pledged commitments in one week. We had our direction: God provides, we go.

Now we are at the end of Peru Year Two. And Cindy is at the end of her Peru possibilities. Due to the severity of her rheumatoid arthritis, she needs different medication. The cost of obtaining these medications in Peru is prohibitive. (She received a long-awaited phone call from assistance programs on the day that our whole school was doing a special day of prayer: for the current teachers at MCS and God's plans for them. Again, God answers.) So, Cindy will be boarding a plane on January 17 and leaving to return home "for good".

Which leaves me. The principal made it very clear months ago that she was praying for miraculous provision of funds for both of us to stay. She's "accepted Cindy's departure" but isn't ready to concede yet that I won't be back. :)

For the last week or two I've been "trying to decide" what I should do: should I pursue some new avenues of financial support, should I ask the opinion of the friends and family who have already sacrificed so much to support us thus far?

And last night I went to the church of a man who works as part of the cleaning crew at the school. He asked me and several others to come to his church to speak to his young people's group about missions. I live in one of the nicest areas of Lima. His church was not. I loved it. And sitting there, singing and listening to the sharing of the "other missionaries" I realized several things.

1. I have always been, am now, and will always be a missionary. It's just a matter of where God puts me: close to "home" or far away, I live to be a witness to Jesus Christ, wherever He puts me and however He provides for me- jobs, gifts, lottery, whatever. My life is a mission for Christ, and I have no idea where that will take me.
   
2. I don't have to "decide what to do" because I already know what to do: go where He tells me to go. I just have to know how to hear where He tells me to go. Two years ago it was an email from a dear friend, and being laid off three days later. One year ago it was incredible provision of seemingly insurmountable financial needs. This year, it's whether God will provide $600 a month for me to return to Peru to teach the third grade class at Monterrico Christian School one more year.
3. I don't have to worry. God already provided a way back to Peru for me (for the first time, it was cheaper for us to get round-trip tickets, so I have a return flight already paid for). If God doesn't provide the funding support, then He doesn't want me here in Lima, He wants me somewhere else, and I'll promise to keep listening, and to go when I do hear.
   
4. I've learned this all before! Why do I forget these things?

So, here is our end of the year status: Cindy stays in the States for sure, Emily is praying a lot, and waiting a lot, and relearning to trust a lot.

Will you please pray for us?

• The last two weeks of school are always hectic and stressful: tests, grades, Christmas program, packing up classrooms, etc.
• MOM AND DAD ARE COMING!!!!! In one week I will be waiting at the airport for my parents! Pray for safe travels.
  
• We have nothing solid planned for my parents, and this is also stressful: pray for provision of affordable travel on short-notice, and that God would make clear where we can also be useful to others- we want to do some "missions trip" kind of things too, not just play tourist.
• Cindy's body during our travels, specifically Machu Picchu and Puno, which are mountainous.

We love you all and thank you for your prayers and support!
In Him-
Emily

God is a God of provision

Thank you so much for your prayers. I was surprised by the number of people who replied with a written prayer... and how much comfort I've gotten out of them... thank you!

And there were definite answers- we have found the perfect treatment- Intervertebral Decompression Device therapy, a machine called the Accu-Spina, and with Cindy's RA, it's a gift from God, because she would NOT be able to do the standard exercises usually done for herniated discs, and even laying on her stomach for the deep heat therapy and electro-therapy is incredibly difficult, and so I cannot imagine what she would be enduring without this machine.

Our chiropractor that we were introduced to last year is from the US so speaks English. He got the machine in January of this year- it's one of two in South America, the only one in Peru, and it's ten minutes from us! It has given us hope as we see improvement little by little after every therapy. Also, since Tuesday Cindy has been able to do the machine without pain so unbearable it reduced her to tears, since she went for a cortisone shot in her left knee (the one most affected by RA) and is experiencing some temporary relief.

She has not returned to school, and will not until at least Thursday, when she will perhaps go in for an hour or two. Friday is a big day in P-4 (Cindy's class) because it marks the end of studying the entire alphabet (one letter per week all year long). Cindy really wants to be able to attend school for this big party day of celebration. Prayers for this are appreciated.

And it's been good for me, to be self-sacrificial and caring for a person bedridden- I am not by nature a nurturing person. I have discovered satisfaction and happiness in being able to make meals or remember to do all the things for her that she needs. Don't get me wrong- I'll be very happy as she is slowly able to actually walk to the kitchen to get her own sandwich, but it's been good for me.

Thanks so much again for your prayers. We know and feel the prayers of all our friends and family.

Update on Cindy

Hello dear friends and family. Here is an update from the Land of Peru!

Well, it's been an interesting day, to say the least. Other adjectives would include: frustrating, boring, stressful, tearful (on my part, breaking down under some stress), angering, humbling, successful, and informative. Oh, and did I mention exhausting?

Learned a lot about the WAY communication is different in the medical setting of a different country OTHER than the actual spoken language. Yes, a lot in US health care needs fixing. But man, we've got some stuff right, too.

Diagnosis definitivemente is herniated disc between the L5 and S1 vertebrae in her lower back. That's the bottom lumbar vertebra and the top sacral (better known as "tailbone") vertebra. Treatment: painkillers for the next week, learn some exercises, do these exercises pretty much forever, and lose weight. Exercising and losing weight complicated by the Rheumatoid Arthritis, since movement on a daily basis is painful, and steroids generally cause weight GAIN.

She will be discharged tomorrow morning. We will be looking into finding a pool that she can go to regularly to exercise (best option for RA). She will probably also need to be on bed rest for another day or two, so please pray for her class of four-year-olds. Prayer for our mental peace of mind (mine more than hers) is also welcome!

Here is a pretty good explanation of herniated discs, and a picture of an MRI and illustration of a herniated disc in the place Cindy's is. http://www.mayfieldclinic.com/PE-HLDisc.htm

On a different note: will you please join us in prayer this week for our future beyond December? And also for the school's future overall. There is a man coming to visit this week who is the president of an organization that financially supports missionary endeavors and missionaries. He happened to meet in the airport the husband of one of our Peruvian teachers several months ago and has asked to come to the school and to talk to me and Cindy.

Thank you all for your prayers and concern. The responses we have received have been so encouraging. I need to be at the hospital at 7:30 tomorrow, so I'm not replying to all of them individually, but I am so grateful for them. Thank you!

Emily and Cindy

Hello everyone.

I am really not a very good missionary as far as updating the people who have played a part in my life. Here's the low-down on the situation this evening in Peru.

What I wrote on Facebook:

Most of you know that a year ago Cindy was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. It has been difficult watching her body fink out on her over the past sixteen months, even with the RA meds that she's been taking, she is in near-constant pain. This past week, a different kind of pain started coming off and on and then pretty much on starting last night. This morning she was in tears and in pain no matter what position she was in: standing, sitting, lying down, etc. It's pain deep inside her left leg.

This morning she went with a Peruvian friend to clinic, which is what they call hospital. They wanted to admit her overnight; we were told at first because they thought it was sciatic nerve issue and since she was on so many other meds for the RA, they wanted her in clinic overnight. So she was admitted. AFTER paying a sizable deposit.

Well, after a very frustrating four hours spent with her at clinic, and another spanish-speaking-friend's help, we have discovered that really, they haven't decided what's wrong with her, they need to do an MRI, and the MRI isn't in the clinic (usually in Peru the MRI is not at the actual hospital, it's in an MRI center) and so we have to go to another place to get the MRI and WHY on EARTH they didn't send her this afternoon to get an MRI?????? is beyond me...

Anyway. Her RA doctor was there with the other doctor, and neither one thinks this pain has anything to do with the RA. Like she needs anything else wrong with her body.

PLEASE PRAY for both of us, for the people around us, and for the doctors and medical staff we encounter. I am scared, because not only do I have NO IDEA what's wrong but also because I cannot be effective in advocating for her treatment with my very limited Spanish.

Thank you.

And now how I really feel: absolutely scared out of my wits. and angry. Like cindy doesn't have enough to deal with???? Is her middle name Job??? I'm really not at all confident in this situation- we've never had a problem with the RA doctor at Tezza, but I have little peace with the situation she's in now. I know part of that is just because I'm worried about her and I can't communicate in Medical Spanish. But it's more than that- it's the whole vibe of the place, of the way the nurses reacted or did NOT react.... I understand now why no one ever wants to leave their sick folks alone at a clinic here in Peru... Hearing that "we don't know" what's wrong didn't help either. And now she called to say they can't take her to do the MRI until tomorrow morning, which means another day staying at the hospital, and my cynical side says "yeah, another day in the clinic, more money for them, so of course they won't do it until tomorrow..." She has insurance, but it reimburses after the fact, so it's also the stress of making sure we've always got access to cash for whatever they need to do next...

Until today, our big prayer request would have been "guidance for what on earth we're supposed to do after December" and "miraculous provision of the next-level RA drugs that Cindy needs but that are exorbitantly expensive". And really, those both still apply. The school would love to have us another year (my third grade class wants to have a garage sale to help "pay for me") and we've got nothing job-wise looking good for us in the States. But we can NOT ask our friends and family alone to support us for another year. So, we're unsure of what our next move will be.

Cindy's RA is so severe that all of the drugs available to her now are no longer inhibiting the disease at all. It's barely controlling the pain. But affording the next-level of drugs is WAY beyond our ability, even here in lower-cost Peru. Only God can provide that. We are currently pursing several assistance options through the drug companies and through the Peru ministry of health and hoping God will use that option in a miraculous way.

It's tough living with a loved one in chronic pain. I am trusting God to provide for both of us. (I believe, help my unbelief, ya know?) (I miss my parents and family tonight!)

A happy note: I had to leave school early today, and left a sub with my class. When I told them why I was leaving (Miss Cindy's in the clinica), every one of their faces showed sincere concern and two of them said "we should pray for her". And as I left the room, that's what they were doing. (When I asked who would like to pray, seven hands went up! My class this year has truly been a blessing.

I just talked to Cindy- she told me not to come back, that she's just going to sleep with all the pain killers, and when she heard the tears in my voice actually said to me "Emily, call me if you need anything- God is a loving and faithful God." SHE is comforting ME! So, I suppose I shall go to bed since I've got to be at the clinic in the morning at 8.

Love to you all,
Emily Leinbach (and Cindy)

WOW!

Wow it the first week of 4th Quarter!!!! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!?!?!?!

The days just seem to go faster and faster and faster! We have A LOT to post within the week but I wanted to share a prayer request with y'all...

The medicine I am taking for my Rhuematoid Artritis is no longer working. It is barely suppressing any of the symptoms of the disease and it is not doing ANYTHING to prevent the progress of the disease. It has been deemed necessary to move up to the biological level of meds. This is scary because these meds are more than $15,000 per year. I have contacted the company for possible financial assistance. I am in the midst of see if I can be classified as a resident in Peru which is the only way I would be able to recieve the financial help. The South America director of the pharacutical company that makes Enbrel replied VERY promptly and has been a great help to me. God is great and God is good! He continually places people in my life just when I need them. Mr. Durstein (the SA dicertor) is a fellow brother in Christ, and in his last email to me ended it with the following scripture...

..."Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?"

Matthew 6:25

Yes God is good, and He WILL take care of me AND of my body! So if you all can pray that I am able to work this out SOON, to know if I can become a resident or not that would be great. We are considering coming back for one more year to LIma, but if I am unable to procure assistance in Peru I will not have to option of returning to a job I LOVE! Thank you for your prayer support.

Cindy

Here is a video of some of Cindy's class as rabbits... one of them apparently needing to visit the little bunny's room...

From Peru Year Two!

Here is a rather delayed picture of Emily's birthday. In the picture are Cindy, Emily, Katie Brink-Guerrero, Heidi Copeland, and Ivone (Peruvian teacher assistant). The cake was very good... lots and lot of chocolate!

I am a terrible missionary...

Oh, wait, that sounds like i'm a terrible missionary because I'm not sharing the Gospel- I'm doing THAT. I'm just not sharing anything else! Like, I'm not sharing my experiences with anyone through any of the multiple ways open and available to me through modern technology. Facebook, email, my blogs, the Internet phone we can use just like we're in the States...

I am a terrible communicator, and for that I am truly sorry. I tend to think this way: I want to share all this stuff with people, but i'm really tired or don't have very much time, and i won't be able to write it all, so i will just wait til later...

BUT LATER NEVER HAPPENS. Yes, I realize the complete silliness of this. I am going to try something new: tidbits.

Today's tidbits:
-How did I ever think that sweet potato was yucky????
-THE SUN IS OUT TODAY! cindy and i went out and sat in the park for more than half and hour just to BE in the sunshine...
-I should have brought that gorgeous purple formal dress I bought for $2.50 at Goodwill two years ago... Peruvian women DRESS UP for weddings!
-I really really don't like the whole "grading" part of being a teacher...
-It's sad when you're left speechless after watching the "in memory" montage of the Emmy's (repeated here a few days after the event) because you had NO IDEA that all those people were dead! Bea Arthur?!? (I'm so sorry, Meg!) Ed McMahon? I can't even remember the rest, because there were so many!

My goal is to do tidbits on a regular basis. Nothing deep or profound, but at least it's something!
Love you all!
Emily